Well, yeah… Hey Babes!

… Just about a week in France .
“So Nice In Nice”, as the Stranglers song goes…
Well, it wasn’t that nice, though it wasn’t particularly nasty either.
More on that a little later…
I tried to have this written promptly after my return from France , but I guess sometimes it takes all week to do what it takes to do all week (!)

I mainly felt a bit anxious to replace my previous letter (about my sad holidays etc.) a.s.a.f.p. since I really don't want to be a bummer to everyone, just because I’m going through my own personal grief.

I certainly don’t want this Website to have any kind of depressing overtones, especially now that it is in memory of Jude Wilder, who used to  have the most brilliant, unique, wicked sense of humour. That’s one of the things I miss the most about her.

Jude also had the most appropriate, brutally honest ways to describe situations and certain types of characters, especially in the "music” BUSINESS, as she worked for ten years as a product manager at CBS/Epic Records in the middle of Manhattan in the "Black Rock” CBS building with suicide-proof windows - they couldn’t be opened (to eliminate the temptation to jump). By the way the Stranglers used to say EPIC Records stood for: English Product Ignored Completely

Most of the men working there she used to call "Dickless Wonders" as they thought quite a lot of themselves while getting nothing done, except sucking up to their bosses, going out to have long, mostly "liquid" lunches, getting fucked up on coke and booze at record conventions and cheating on their wives, by whom they were of course "pussy-whipped" when at home. Naturally they were also into some serious "male macho bonding", chauvinistically harassing the female workers. Sexual harassment wasn't even an issue those days. Jude could have made big bucks taking these sleazeballs to court later on.

“The Executive Spread” was another funny term Jude used.
It basically meant the expanding waistline syndrome.
After a young, aspiring, new recruit starts working at the label and gets the company credit card that pays for all lunches and dinners, within months he starts getting fatter and fatter as time goes by and ends up looking like most of his colleagues.
It's pretty scary, actually. I've watched a guy at Polygram start out as an enthusiastic, music oriented product manager with a sparkle in his eye turn into a fat, balding, joyless shell of a person within one year.

As most of us know, it is imperative to maintain a sense of humour in order to not go grazy. But then again, you gotta be crazy to maintain your sanity. So all of you who think that you think you're sane – are therefore going crazy.

Sometimes I amuse myself by telling jokes that only I myself laugh at...

Like the one about the record company geek who decided to invent the microwave CD Plaver. So he could listen to an hour long album in only 6 minutes… (haha)… Oh yeah, did you hear about the manager who quit in disgust? He said he was sick and tired of giving the band 85 % of his money… Then of course there was the heavy metal star who renegotiated his own $ 10 million contract; he got 10 dollars a year for million years.

Now that we’ve taken a peek behind  the facades of the record industry, let's get back to France 2002 and the MIDEM event.
It's basically a gathering of music industry people from all around the world. They are there to present their newest “products" and stuff and to check out the hottest happening "flavour of the month" today.
There's a lot of so called "HIGs" (Huge Industry Giants) and people are just mainly exchanging business cards with each other talking a lot of business... this to me is the most boring and depressing part of being a recording artist.

A very typical kind of "look" for these people seems to be grayish hair and beard, slightly darkened expensive looking sun glasses, their pot bellies sticking out from underneath their polyester blazer jackets and lots of ID- , and other laminates hanging around their necks...

So Andy thought it would be a good idea to "showcase" us out there since "everybody's gonna be there."
So Costello, my man, the new fab guitarist has also joined this project, which in itself is already a vast improvement. However, they had two rehearsals without me before travelling, since I was told we would still have two more rehearsals in France plus a long time to soundcheck etc. on the gig day. Well, that wasn't quite it...as it turned out we had no rehearsals at all and on the day of the gig, after being rushed to the venue before midday we ended up sitting around and waiting all day long while gear was being set up (and who knows what else took so long). Then, all of a sudden towards the evening we were told we had 15 minutes to rush and do a soundcheck since there were other bands too. We had none of our own crew there and the local crew...oh boy! They were either completely braindead or then it was sabotage. Not have I ever encountered such a lousy and useless stage monitor guy. Most of the gig I could not hear myself at all and everything was as fucked up as it only could be. Everything went wrong as far as the technical side of it goes. Still, against all odds, we did our best, and I guess it wasn’t that bad since people seemed to like it. There was plenty of angry "punk" attitude, at least on my part, as I was getting ready to murder the monitor guy. All in all I guess we took what was a complete disaster and turned it into some sort of an orderly chaos…

The best thing for me out of the whole trip was getting to meet one of my all time favorite songwriter/musicians: Casino Steel, who happened to be at the airport as we arrived. He was the keyboard player for The Boys, one the best bands of the punk era in the late 70's. We used to cover one of their songs "T.C.P." live with Hanoi Rocks and Hanoi ’s first drummer took his stage name “Gyp Casino" from Casino Steel as he was totally fanatically obsessed with The Boys and Casino Steel...
Casino told me that The Boys have recently reformed, which is good news. They made a bunch of great songs, punky but melodic with a nice sense of humour. We need bands like this.
Prior to The Boys, Casino Steel was the singer/piano player for the Hollywood Brats in the early 70’s. I guess the closest thing to the New York Dolls in the UK .
However, my personal favorite work he’s done is with Gary Holton, the singer of the Heavy Metal Kids ("She's No Angel", "Delirious"...), may God rest his soul. Absolutely one of the best singers ever in the world. Their first album "Gary Holton & Casino Steel" is still one of my all time favorite records, mostly written by Casino. During one of our first visits to London with Hanoi Rocks we all went to see them live at the Marquee and it was one of the best gigs I've ever experienced.

I’ve always wanted to meet Casino in person (Gary Holton used to come to Hanoi ’s Marquee shows and I ran into him quite often when I lived in London ). Definitely "Holy" in my books. And if nothing else comes out of that visit to MIDEM, this for me made the trip worth while.

And now for that guestbook...

First of all, Thank You Casino Steel for your message on Jan 27! I’m glad you enjoyed the gig. Andy & the others send their regards as well. It was great meeting you. Let’s keep in touch.
And good luck with The Boys!
*Love & Respect* Michael *

As most of you know, I like to guard my privacy.
Not that I'd have anything to hide, but certain things in life are personal and I do not wish to confuse people with irrelevant issues. Jude’s death, however, was too much of a life changing tragedy to keep totally to myself. As she was also a public figure with her own career and her life's work. This is the first time I've really found comfort from people I don't know personally on such a personal level as I've read so many of your sincere and sympathetic condolences. Thank You All again.
So I shared some of my personal agonizing moments with you (New Year's Eve), also for the first time finding it somehow helpful to tell someone I don't really know...I don't believe in psychiatrists, though I'm sure they can be helpful to some. Anyway, it was probably best for me to be alone to face the ultimate grief and not "sweep anything under the carpet". It also goes to show that no matter how famous, rich or liked you might be, we're all equally helpless in the face of such adversity…

Well, well, well…
It's almost amusing how many people feel such a need to pass judgement on others based on hearsay, that’s really none of their concern anyway. Check out the lyrics for "While You Were Looking At Me" on my "Not Fakin’ It" album...
Most of all I don't want to give any more free publicity to a low-life scum rag that thrives on peoples misery and encourages the type of morbid curiosity and sleazy mentality.
I hope we can maintain some sort of class and integrity in this guestbook.

Besides, all you judges out there, I’m hard enough on myself as it is, and even if you did have a clue, I would still ignore you, as it’s not really out of concern for my well-being, that you’re trying to stick your noses into this, now is it? If I want your opinion, I’ll squeeze your head.
OK?!
End of story.

As for the future, I don’t wanna give away any details at this moment. Let’s just say that I’m VERY excited about my Solo-Band.

With all due respect.

Love and Wisdom to you all,

MICHAEL MONROE